You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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