CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
