She's JV to your varsity
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
