is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
