Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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