Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize