oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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