sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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