can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
