I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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