Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
