Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
