real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
