You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
