I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Alive.
So much puke
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
