tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
