I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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