Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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