I want to stick my p in your. b.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
