My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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