Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
