I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize