And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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