It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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