I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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