I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
