porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
