call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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