Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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