apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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