she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
