I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I don't deserve a penis
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
