Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
