Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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