trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
