My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
