There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
