You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
