You're my little dorito
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize