Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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