Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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