This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
