Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
