thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
