sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
