Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
