1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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