My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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