Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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