Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.