I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.