yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
