Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Houston, we have a blender
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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