Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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