Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
