I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize