I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
