that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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