i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
