Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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