Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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