Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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