take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
