We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you win again, gameday.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize